Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee

- You answer the door before people knock.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- You can't even remember your second cup.